


i hate you

by lipsticklesbienne



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: M/M, Out of Character, Sad, Sad Cyrus Goodman, Short One Shot, Swearing, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, but those are small, death mention btw, im alright just feeling things, this is messy, vent fic oh no, vomit mention too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 21:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19484803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lipsticklesbienne/pseuds/lipsticklesbienne
Summary: cyrus can't stand the way tj makes him feel. it fills his entire body with an uncontrollable rage and he can't tell if he wants to punch tj or kiss him until he loses his breath.





	i hate you

**Author's Note:**

> this is a Mess to say the least  
> currently as i write this authors note it is 2:47 a.m. and i have some Feelings so what better do i have to do than write a very obvious vent fic using cyrus as my own personal depression puppet?  
> yeahh  
> there's lots of swearing here and a mention of vomit, death/suicide, and just lots of depression stuff that ive been feeling  
> that's probably not some of your guys speed so if you don't wanna read that's fine  
> thanks for staying if you are tho!

the way he stares into his eyes with that stupid pretty, puppy eyed look makes him want to rip his hair out and vomit.

cyrus can't stand the way tj makes him feel. it fills his entire body with an uncontrollable rage and he can't tell if he wants to punch tj or kiss him until he loses his breath.

he'd never say anything about it. tj was obviously happy without him or his love. not that tj knew he was head over heels in love with him anyways. still, seeing him give her that beautiful, stunning, glowy smile made his heart ache and his body tremble.

cyrus was never a violent person, and he never could be. there was just something about him and her that made him flip a switch and feel all of these bullshit feelings. how he hated himself for being this attached to a boy who could never love him as much as cyrus loved him.

teary red eyes gazed into the bathroom mirror. thankful it was a long weekend and he lied and told his friends he was busy, he ran his hands through his unclean, mousy hair and sighed. 

his stomach burned from the overwhelming, crushing feeling of tj never knowing just how much he loved him. he watched as the silhouette in the mirror in front of him shook and trembled like an unstable building about to crash. he was a fucking mess.

_ fuck tj, _ cyrus thought.  _ i hate him and his stupid beautiful blonde hair that i want to touch. i hate him and his gorgeous emerald puppy eyes that make my knees weak. i hate him and the way he makes me feel like i want nothing but to kiss his lips. _

cyrus would. he would totally kiss him. he wanted to more than anything. just to lean in and press his lips against tjs and have it mean something. have it mean as much to tj as it did to cyrus.

he tore his eyes away from the reflection and started the water. he felt disgusting. horrible. filthy. he could drown in this god damn bathtub for all he cared. he just needed to rinse off all the ugliness and filth plaguing him.

_ fuck tj kippen. he ruined my life.  _

_ but why do i still love you? _

_i am such an idiot._

  
  



End file.
